Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Japan Journifications, Ear/Eye Hustles & Such

Japan Journification
Private Eye Hustle

I’ve always been a squatter. As in, never had a need to use those little thin toilet covers. As in never sit my booty down on the toilet seat. As in the same routine: open the door, score the bathroom on cleanliness, if it’s dirty—I’m out. If it’s decent, get centered in front of the toilet, move back slightly so that my front and back door hover over the toilet, release debris from front or back door, grab tissue…you get the idea.

Aside from getting really personal I really am going somewhere with all of this. On the second day I arrived to Japan, I visited the cleanest McDonalds I’d ever seen. I noticed women, American women and Japanese women coming out of the bathroom with a particular look. A look that smelled like new sheets & fresh ginger. I wanted to have this look. At least once.  


Hey, what the heck, I’m an internal tourist soI go.
I noticed the queen of toilets. Equipped an after bathroom sort of perfume (oranges maybe?) with water to rinse away front or back door debris and a noise to cover up the reason why we all go to the bathroom. I really don’t need a noise to cover up the fact that I am using the toilet. Is a toilet not for using? If I push the magic button to make the noise to cover up the fact that I am using the potty won’t you still know I am pottying?  I digress.

The fact of the matter is though I have been here 3 months I have not joined the particular look coming from the bathroom club because guess what folks?? YOU HAVE TO SIT YOUR BOOTY DOWN ON THE TOILET? Ew. Sumimasen. I am just not ready.



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